I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (2024)

  • I go to strangers' weddings for fun and have made lots of new friends along the way.
  • I'm invited through Facebook groups, where brides post that they have extra seats available.
  • Even if I don'tknow the couple, I still tear up during the speeches and first dances.

I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (1)

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I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (2)

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I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (3)

When my husband and I got engaged in 2020, I joined multiple local bridal groups on Facebook for help planning our wedding.

These groups, where brides ask for and provide recommendations and advice, were a massive source of support.

As I was scrolling through Facebook one day, I noticed a unique post from a bride appealing to the group.

She and her future spouse didn't meet the minimum number of guests they had agreed upon with the venue and were looking to fill another table with guests.

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The catch? They wouldn't know any of the people they were inviting.

I'd never seen a post like this before, but going to a stranger's wedding seemed like fun

Most wedding venues require couples to guarantee a certain number of guests will attend the event. If they don't reach this number, oftentimes, they will still have to pay the full agreed-upon price.

This means the couple is essentially paying for meals that won't be eaten.

Luckily for the bride who reached out for help on Facebook, I love everything about weddings. I jump at the chance to celebrate love, dance, and get dressed up for a night out. Attending someone's wedding is my idea of the perfect evening.

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I floated the idea by my then-fiancé. It would be kind of like a date night, right?

He was hesitant — he's an excellent conversationalist and great at meeting people. He does not, however, seek out social opportunities the way I do.

Going to a stranger's wedding isn't something he would have considered doing otherwise, but we're both great at having a good time, and he agreed to go.

We traveled an hour to attend the wedding

I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (4)

Joanna Smykowski

Because the wedding was held over an hour from where we lived, we decided to book a hotel room near the venue and stay the night.

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The dress code was formal attire, which was even more exciting because I love having a reason to wear a floor-length gown.

We skipped the ceremony because the bride invited us for the co*cktail hour and reception. When we arrived, a part of me was nervous that our names wouldn't be on the seating chart —but they were.

For co*cktail hour, we kept to ourselves and enjoyed the food. We tried to get a sense of who the bride and groom were by looking at their signature drinks — adorably named after their pets — and the welcome decor with photos of them.

When we entered the reception hall, we found we were seated with others from the bridal group who had never met the bride or groom.

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Everyone at the table had their own reason for attending. One couple was getting married at the same venue and jumped at the opportunity to experience a wedding there as guests.

Another couple had gotten married there a few months back but hadn't been able to enjoy any of the food because of how busy the night was. Above all, everyone just wanted a fun night out.

Our table became fast friends. We danced as a group throughout the night and chatted during dinner about ourselves and our wedding-planning journeys.

I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (5)

Joanna Smykowski

There was something freeing about not knowing anyone in the room but coming together for such a heartwarming event.

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I also liked spending time with my partner and new friends without feeling obligated to socialize with anyone else at the wedding.

And even though I didn't know the bride and groom, I still teared up during the speeches and first dances.

I decided that any time I could make it to one of these weddings, I would

I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (6)

Joanna Smykowski

Wedding invites kept popping up in my local bridal groups, but I eventually joined "Sisterhood of the Traveling Wedding Guest, Bridesmaid, or Surrogate Mom" for brides who lack friend or familial support.

In the group, people look for someone to go dress shopping with them, be a bridesmaid, or even just attend their weddings as a guest.

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Through this group and others, I've since gone to four stranger's weddings. If my husband isn't available to accompany me, I bring a friend who's down for the cause.

I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (7)

Joanna Smykowski

If anyone asks how we know the happy couple, we always say through the bride. I leave out the part about meeting her for the very first time at her wedding.

I never know (and don't ask) if the bride has told her family and friends that they invited people they've never met.

And I always go up to the bride at some point during the night to introduce myself and thank her for having me. I'm now friends with most of the brides on social media, too.

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Some of us have made plans to hang out after the wedding, while others wish each other well on birthdays and big life events.

And although the brides say they don't expect anything, I always give a gift. I'd never show up to someone's home without bringing something, and I treat weddings the same way.

I hope to continue "crashing weddings" for many years to come. The joy that surrounds weddings energizes me, and I've met some awesome people along the way.

Plus, I'll never say no to celebrating love, dancing the night away, and having a great night out.

I go to strangers' weddings for fun. Getting invited is pretty easy, and I've made a lot of new friends. (2024)

FAQs

How many friends do people invite to weddings? ›

Typically, a guestlist of 75 to 150 people is considered an "average" wedding size. However, average guest counts fluctuate too. Did you know that about ten more guests are invited to weddings this year than last year? That brings the national average to just over 100 wedding guests.

How do you deal with not being invited to a wedding? ›

Be gentle with people's feelings, whether you're the bride or a guest. “[As a guest], I think it's better to reach out and go 'Look, I know you're getting married. I'm so happy for you. I understand I'm not invited and I assume there are all sorts of reasons and it's fine.

How to make friends at a wedding? ›

Here are some tips on how to actually have a good time at a wedding when you barely know anyone:
  1. Set Zero Expectations. ...
  2. Have a Drink. ...
  3. Get Out of Your Head. ...
  4. Talk to Older Relatives of the Bride and Groom. ...
  5. Connect with the People at Your Table. ...
  6. Look for People on Their Own. ...
  7. Get on the Dance Floor. ...
  8. Find the Escapees.
Jun 18, 2015

What percentage of wedding guests don't go? ›

What Percent of Wedding Guests Decline? "How many invited guests will decline a wedding invitation? A good rule of thumb that many wedding professionals agree on is 20%," says Nowack.

Is it rude to not go to a friends wedding? ›

Wanting to skip someone's wedding is a clear sign that you're okay with letting that friendship fade. (Though, RSVPing "no" to a wedding in order to "send someone a message" is super passive aggressive and definitely NOT recommended!)

Is 50 guests a small wedding? ›

How many guests are typically invited to each size wedding? These numbers may vary a little depending on who you're speaking with, but a small wedding typically includes 50 people or under, a medium wedding has a guest list of anywhere from 50-150 guests, and a large wedding has over 150 attendees.

How many wedding guests are normal? ›

Average Wedding Size. According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, the average wedding size in 2023 was 115 guests. 13% of couples invited between 1-50 guests, 30% of couples had 51-100 people in attendance and 57% of marriers invited 101+ guests to the big day.

How many weddings does an average person go to? ›

Wedding Guests Attend An Average Of 2 Weddings Per Year And Spend Nearly $1,000 Per Wedding Toward The Gift, Attire, Travel & Accommodations, According To The Knot 2016 Wedding Guest Study.

Is it rude not to give a wedding gift? ›

Is It Ever Appropriate Not to Give a Wedding Gift? If you're attending a wedding, you should always give a gift; the amount you spend, though, is flexible. Personal budget constraints are a perfectly valid reason to not get an over-the-top wedding present, but you should still give something as an attendee.

How much should I spend on a wedding gift if not invited? ›

Garringer advises spending as much as you would if you attended the wedding — which would mean around $100 for a close friend or $150 and up for an immediate family member. For more distant relations, a smaller gift is acceptable (or, as we mentioned earlier, a simple "Congratulations!" will do).

Do you give a wedding gift if not invited? ›

Your choice. If you were invited and attending the wedding, I would encourage you to give a gift or write a card, but since you are not invited or attending, etiquette says anything goes.

How to mingle at weddings? ›

10 Fabulous Ways To Get Your Wedding Guests Socializing
  1. Begin With The Engagement Party. ...
  2. Bust Out the Photo Booths. ...
  3. Get Creative with Table Placements. ...
  4. Strategically Scatter Food and Drinks. ...
  5. Maximize co*cktail Socializing. ...
  6. Play Wedding Games with Guests. ...
  7. Create a Conversation-Starting Quiz for Your Guests. ...
  8. Immediate Family.

Can you have a wedding without friends? ›

If you're not having friends at your wedding, you still have several options to fill out your bridal party. Primarily, your bridesmaids and maid of honor will come from the ranks of your female relatives. Consider asking your sisters, cousins, aunts, grandmothers, or mother to stand in for you.

Can you have a marriage without friendship? ›

The takeaway. It is dangerous to stay in a marriage that lacks friendship. All married couples should strive to maintain and nurture the friendship to a level that brings emotional stability. Friends differ and have a difference in opinion.

What to do if you can't make a friends wedding? ›

What to Do & How to Tell Someone You Can't Go to Their Wedding
  1. Let them know personally. ...
  2. Once you send back the RSVP, stick to your decision. ...
  3. Set up a time for you to get together. ...
  4. Send a wedding gift.

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