How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech (2024)

All products featured on Vogue are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

If one of your nearest and dearest is tying the knot, it’s possible you may be asked to give a speech during the wedding festivities. And while having an opportunity to share your love and memories at a major milestone event is an honor, there’s no denying that it’s a big ask—especially if public speaking isn’t your forté. A wedding speech presents a unique challenge: There’s no set formula for how the speech should play out, but it often requires sentimentality, a touch of humor, and the good sense to know when to wrap it up.

Are you a member of the wedding party that wants to (or has been asked to) give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Read ahead to learn how to write and prepare for your big moment.

Who Gives a Wedding Speech?

Photo: Silvia Quadrini

First off, it’s important to make sure that the couple definitely wants you to give a toast at their celebrations. Traditionally, the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple will give a speech at the wedding. However, the couple should explicitly ask these guests well in advance to give a speech so they have plenty of time to prepare. They may also choose additional wedding party members to give toasts at the reception or pre-wedding parties; but if the couple has not asked you to give a speech, do not prepare one. Speeches are carefully placed into a wedding timeline so the day will stay on schedule, and an additional five minutes could cut into strategically timed moments of the celebration.

The to-be-weds also have the right to curate the day as they wish, and occasionally at a rehearsal dinner or welcome party, the couple may open the floor to additional toasts. But if this doesn’t happen, grabbing the mic unexpectedly for an off-the-cuff speech (especially after a few glasses of wine) will not be appreciated.

How to Write a Wedding Speech

Photo: Jose Villa

If you are asked to give a toast, it’s important that you don’t just wing it. “First, recognize that speechwriting is a creative process,” shares Allison Shapira, founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking. “Give yourself plenty of time to be creative (i.e. not the night before, when you already have so much to stress about). Wait for your most creative time of the day, and turn off any distractions. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple, and what you’d like to say.”

While there’s no exact template to follow, there is a good basic formula to adhere to. “The framework I recommend for a wedding speech is: story, message, blessing,” she shares. “Tell a heartwarming story, share the message or value behind that story, and then offer a blessing or wish for the couple based on that message.”

“Typically, we advise our speakers to try to bring the audience on a journey where you initially try to make them laugh, then get to the real depth of the speech and earn some tears, then bring the whole speech full circle with a deep insight or story about the couple that ends with a funny final punch,” shares Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance, an AI company that specializes in helping write personalized wedding vows, ceremonies, and toasts. “It’s important to have a good balance of humor and sentimentality because, if it’s a full roast, it can feel like you’re just doing a standup comedy show for your own benefit and it could lack substance. Or, if it’s too overly emotional, it can get heavy and perhaps a bit too somber for a wedding celebration.”

When choosing a story, Shapira recommends reading the room. “It should obviously be good-natured, without making anyone look bad. And, it all depends on the family dynamics,” she says. “What one family considers good-natured, another family could consider scathing. Choose someone in the audience whom you think could give you some helpful feedback, and practice the speech with them in advance.”

Photo: Maddy Rotman

Most Popular

Greitzer adds that it's important that both members of the couple are highlighted in the speech. “Great anecdotes showcase who each person was before meeting, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth,” he shares. If you don’t know one member of the couple very well, don’t be afraid to get creative. “One of the best speeches I’ve seen was from a bridesmaid who hadn’t really been able to spend too much time with her best friend’s fiance because of the pandemic,” Greitzer shares. “She creatively read texts she found in her phone that gave her a hilarious timeline of her friend falling in love.”

If you’re still not sure where to begin, consider giving an AI platform a try to help you form your toast. “The Provenance tools guide speakers to create unique, and personal ceremonies, vows, and toasts without the stress. It’s a partner in your brainstorming process; a way to help you verbalize what you were trying to say—but faster,” explains Greitzer. “Instead of being some outdated, mad-libs-style template, the expert-curated prompts inspire special stories and insights, ultimately weaving your responses together into a custom, editable first draft.”

A final writing tip from Shapira? “I definitely recommend creating an outline but do not recommend writing the speech out word for word. When we script the entire speech, it sounds too formal,” says the public speaking expert. “I recommend first brainstorming the content, rearranging it into a logical structure, then drafting a general outline which you can bring with you to the event. While it may look better to simply give the speech ‘from the heart,’ the stress involved in trying to memorize your speech is simply not worth it.”

How to Deliver a Wedding Speech

Writing a wedding speech is half the battle—next comes your performance. It’s important that your toast has a good flow, feels natural, and doesn’t drag on. Here’s where the idiom “practice makes perfect” rings true. Shapira advises giving yourself a few weeks of rehearsal to make your speech feel authentic and fluid. Her recommendations? “Read your speech out loud and make sure it stays within the time you have allotted. Read it to someone else and get their feedback. Record it and watch it back. We use a tool called AMPLIFY to get AI-based feedback.” She adds, “Don’t memorize the speech, but do read it out loud and make sure it sounds like your voice.”

Most Popular

  • Royals

    Why Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Changed Their Children’s Last Names

    By Elise Taylor

  • Celebrity Style

    2024 BAFTAs: See Every Look From the Red Carpet

    By Emily Chan

  • Nails

    The Prettiest Nail Art You'll See This Spring

    By Audrey Noble

The ideal length of a toast is between two to four minutes, which translates to around 500 to 1000 words on a page. Still, Greitzer notes, “The perfect length for the wedding toast complies with whatever length the couple wants it to be. Many guests don’t realize that long speeches can impact the whole evening’s timeline and affect the caterer, DJ, and so much more.”

Photo: Rasa Juskeviciute

While it’s now common to see toasts being read off a phone, both experts agree that it’s much better to print out your speech. “Reading off of a phone comes with the risk of distractions from notifications, a weird backlight that can affect the color of your face in photos, finicky technical difficulties, and having that annoying sound interference with the mic,” says Greitzer. (You also should make sure your speech is legible with a large font and wide spacing so you can easily find your place.)

The final hurdle of giving a wedding toast is getting over your nerves. “Find a quiet place right beforehand to center yourself (perhaps the bathroom or a corner of the room), pause and breathe, and remind yourself why you care about the couple,” recommends Shapira. She also adds—perhaps unsurprisingly—that it’s best to hold back on alcohol consumption ahead of the toast. “No one expects a perfect or professional speech; they want a unique, authentic message. The speech isn’t about you—it’s about the couple. Once you reframe the fact that the center of attention isn’t on you, you can relax.”

Most Popular

  • Royals

    Why Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Changed Their Children’s Last Names

    By Elise Taylor

  • Celebrity Style

    2024 BAFTAs: See Every Look From the Red Carpet

    By Emily Chan

  • Nails

    The Prettiest Nail Art You'll See This Spring

    By Audrey Noble

Photo: Jose Villa

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech (2024)

FAQs

How to Write a Perfect Wedding Speech? ›

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

How do you start a good wedding speech? ›

How to Start Your Wedding Speech
  1. Introduce Yourself. Sally Rawlins Photography. ...
  2. Make Eye Contact. Pick a few reassuring faces in the crowd and pitch your speech to them – but don't focus just on one person. ...
  3. Have Notes to Hand. ...
  4. Don't Drink Too Much. ...
  5. Consider Hiring a Pro.
Mar 25, 2024

What do you say at a wedding speech? ›

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

What makes a good marriage speech? ›

Include tender and funny stories.

If you're giving a speech at a wedding, odds are you're a close friend or family member. This means you have a long catalog of heartwarming and entertaining stories about the couple. Pull from these to make the crowd laugh or tear up on this special day of celebration.

What is the best opening line for a wedding speech? ›

Wedding Speech Opening Lines: Simple and Sincere Opening Lines. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you (name) for the kind introduction." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As (name's friend/relative), I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight."

How do you write a short but sweet wedding speech? ›

  1. Start planning early. ...
  2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom. ...
  3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple. ...
  4. Make it personal. ...
  5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories. ...
  6. Talk about the couple. ...
  7. Have a beginning, middle, and end. ...
  8. Consider your audience.

Is it OK to read your wedding speech? ›

Is It OK to Read a Wedding Speech? The debate over whether it's OK to read your wedding speech ends here. Since not everyone is great at public speaking, experts say it's fine to bring notes with you, so long as you're familiar with your script. The important part is to show your love for the couple.

How long should a wedding speech be? ›

How long should a general wedding speech be? Generally, wedding speeches should last between 5 and 7 minutes to make sure there's plenty of time for everyone to make a speech. The 'wedding speech' portion of the reception as a a whole should last no more than 40 minutes (to prevent people from getting bored).

Who speaks first at a wedding? ›

Traditionally, the father of the bride is the first to speak in the wedding speech sequence, especially if he has contributed financially to the wedding. The bride's father's speech should include; — A welcome to all the guests, and an expression of gratitude for their attendance and participation in the wedding.

What is an example of a short wedding speech? ›

I have known [bride's name] since we were [age], and I have never seen her as happy as she is today. [Groom's name], you have brought so much joy into [bride's name]'s life, and I am grateful to have you as my friend as well. To the newlyweds, may your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day.

What are the three most important words in marriage? ›

“Remember also that forgiveness heals every wound,” he said. He repeated a refrain he has often used when meeting with families and married couples, listing the three most important words in a marriage: “Please, thanks and sorry.”

How do you end a wedding speech? ›

Tips
  1. Sum up the main points of your speech. The closing lines should serve as a nice wrap-up to the main points of your speech. ...
  2. Reference a joke from earlier in the speech. ...
  3. Raise a glass. ...
  4. Use a quote or poem. ...
  5. Share a personal memory or wish. ...
  6. Use a call to action.
Jul 5, 2023

Who usually gives speeches at a wedding? ›

To keep things concise and stick to your wedding timeline, Imberman recommends limiting speeches to just the VIPs, which includes the best man speech, the maid of honor speech, and the parent speeches. And, as a bonus, some couples also opt to give a bride's speech and/or a groom's speech, but that's up to you.

What is a good opening speech? ›

Typical Patterns for Speech Openings

Establish rapport and tell the audience why you care about the topic of why you are credible to speak on the topic. Introduce the speech thesis/preview/good idea. Tell the audience why they should care about this topic. Give a transition statement to the body of the speech.

How do you write a 2 minute wedding speech? ›

Wedding speech outline example:
  1. Introduce yourself and your connection to the bride or groom.
  2. Talk about the person you're standing up for.
  3. Talk about their partner.
  4. Provide well wishes or advice.
  5. Close with a killer last line.
Dec 3, 2020

What is a good toast sentence? ›

Usually, toasts end with some kind of wish for the future, such as “May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live!” If you find yourself at a lot of formal dinners, it can be wise to memorize a go-to toast or two, whether heartfelt (“May your house always be too small to hold all our ...

What is an example of a wedding toast speech? ›

Bride and Groom, I wish you the best life has to offer, and I know the two of you will continue to love and support each other. Join me in raising your glasses in a toast to Name and Name, may you forever be as happy as you are tonight. After applause, introduce the maid of honor for her speech.

What is a short quote for wedding speech? ›

Traditional Wedding Toast Quotes

Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi. “There is only one happiness in life; To love and be loved.” – George Sand. “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time.” – Julia Child.

References

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Recommended Articles
Article information

Author: Tish Haag

Last Updated:

Views: 5730

Rating: 4.7 / 5 (67 voted)

Reviews: 82% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Tish Haag

Birthday: 1999-11-18

Address: 30256 Tara Expressway, Kutchburgh, VT 92892-0078

Phone: +4215847628708

Job: Internal Consulting Engineer

Hobby: Roller skating, Roller skating, Kayaking, Flying, Graffiti, Ghost hunting, scrapbook

Introduction: My name is Tish Haag, I am a excited, delightful, curious, beautiful, agreeable, enchanting, fancy person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.